Monday, March 1, 2010
Cultural Shock
Divorce is very common in America. If I ever see signs for lawyers, their specialty is usually handling divorce cases. Couples in America either fall in love or have kids and realize that they are ready for a marriage. Being married do not necessarily mean that the person you are with will be with you till the day you die. From friends and co-workers I was told that divorce is an obstacle in person’s life that they must move past. It isn’t usually uncommon when marriages fail because either they realize that they are with the wrong person or that they don’t want it anymore for personal reasons. Society will not frown or feel pitiful for couples that face divorce but only provide support so they can recover and continue on with their lives. In Bangladesh, the concept of divorce is almost taboo. Marriages are arranged by parents. It takes a lot for a Bengali couple to finally choose to divorce. Usually they stick it out and remain to stay with each other even if they desire to leave. One of the major reasons as to why it is not frequent because of what society has to say about them. Fingers will be pointed at and rumors will be spread that can completely destroy the chances of a person that is divorced trying to live his/her life. Divorce puts more weight on a woman to ever be able to live a normal life or even possibly be re-married again. The views from both cultural view opposing views and in my opinion as an American raised Bengali girl, a marriage should be thought through so that divorce does not need to be necessary but should be an option if needed.
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It was interesting to read your thoughts on marriage and I agree that if you do decide to get married it should be a carefully thought through choice so that divorce is avoided. I have personally experienced two very different cultural views on divorce and how society treats people after and during a divorce. In Sweden divorce is not frowned upon at all. Which could have something to do with the fact that people have a tendency to not get married at all to begin with. The reason for this is because people don't have a religious, financial or cultural reason to do so. My generation in particular experienced parents switching partners, vastly changing the traditional family portrait. Growing up I can only remember one friend of mine who's parents were married and lived together. Many of my American friends find it shocking to hear that my own grandparents divorced after more than 30 years together and now have new partners. I never thought that was odd before I came to America. This has made me think a lot about what kind of family I would like to create when time comes for that. Although I have never dreamed about a big wedding or felt like marriage is an important part of my future, I do believe that it is important to find a person to grow and develop together with. And I do believe that you should try to stick together and solve your problems rather than giving up.
ReplyDeleteI recently read a short article in a morning newspaper [it might've been the am New York or Metro] about Debenhams, a British department store, starting a Divorce Registry. It shocked me and hit me as a very depressing concept, not something one would want to register for and let everyone know and celebrate with them. I think it is understood that divorce has become more common over the years but a divorce registry says “Hey, it happens so much, we can start making money off of it!”. I personally believe that the concept might be telling people that ALONG with marriage comes divorce, and soon enough, staying together “till death do us part” will be seen as unconventional. However, a divorce is often a very traumatic experience that a couple goes through. Catering to this lifestyle shift might help those individuals get through the tough times. When couples divorce, they usually divide belongings and a registry sounds like a good way to help you get your life back together with support of family and friends. Also, I don’t know the divorce rates in England but maybe this registry is appropriately catering to their population.
ReplyDeleteI was not quite sure if you agreed or disagreed with arranged marriages, I for one believe everyone should have a chance to choice who they marry. The arranged marriage norm may reduce the amount of divorces per country, but that does not increase happiness per couple. In my opinion, marriage is intended not stick two random people together in the hopes that they will be happy but marriage is what follows a certain level of happiness between two individuals.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to what you're trying to say... I'm from Bosnia and in my culture, divorce is uncommon for the same reasons. The community starts to talk and there is a lot of negative judgment going on, especially for the women involved in the divorce. So the married couple either decides to stick it out and live an unhappy life or get a divorce and deal with those social consequences.
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